Family Mediation
Family Mediation:
An appropriate and effective way to help families in conflict resolve their differences , family mediation assists parties in finding a mutual resolution that works for them, moving forward. It is appropriate for marital/relationship breakdown, custody and contact issues, and other family disputes. Parties are seen both separately and together and attend a number of sessions considering options around finances, living arrangements, parenting plans and any issues of concern to the parties. The outcome is a Mediated Settlement Agreement.
Family Mediators undergo additional MII accredited specialist training to work with Separating Couples.
Elder Mediation
Elder Mediation:
Through the elder mediation lens, ageing is viewed as part of a continuing process of development and change rather than just a period of physical and cognitive decline. In keeping the older person at the heart of the process, elder mediation supports intergenerational decision making, enabling participants to explore options and make decisions appropriate to the changing needs of the older person.
Elder mediators undergo additional MII accredited specialist training.
Child Inclusive Mediation
Child Inclusive Mediation (CIM) provides opportunities for children to have their voices heard directly during the mediation process, to help them feel respected and listened to and at their request to assist parents/guardians to receive, understand and take account of the child’s messages in relation to decisions and arrangements being made by their parents/guardians.
CIM mediators undergo additional MII accredited specialist training.
Here are a few reasons why you should consider Mediation if you are involved in a family dispute:
- There is a considerable resource of free Mediation services in the family arena.
- Mediation is private and confidential so no-one outside the process will know your private family business.
- Family Mediation is specifically designed to cater for the needs of children.
- Family conflict can be deeply upsetting and extremely stressful – Mediation is designed to reduce conflict and promote well-being.
- Imposed outcomes in Family disputes can often lead to further conflict and compliance issues.
- Mediation gives the parties the opportunity to fully explain their position so everyone knows where they stand.
- Your family has its own individual needs and circumstances, these can be incoprporated into a mediated agreement.
Case Study
Joe and Ann (not their real names) came to mediation in order to sort out their finances, property and parenting arrangements for their two children following their separation. Some of the issue they had to address in the process were who would remain in the family home, where the other parent would live, how to deal with an investment property which was in negative equity, and how to manage sharing time with, and responsibility for their two children.
Over a period of about two months, through weekly sessions lasting roughly 1.5 hours, the couple worked out a financial settlement and a parenting plan. During this time they saw the mediator both together and separately, and consulting with their respective solicitors between sessions, as they began to formulate options.
At the end of the process, they signed their Agreement, known as a Memorandum of Understanding, which they then brought to their solicitors for legal formalisation. They also agreed to return to mediation to review the parenting plan from time to time as the children got older and their needs and circumstances changed.
FAQs
Will I have to be in the same room as my ex?
In family mediation parties are seen both separately and together. The mediator will usually meet parties separately first, to ensure both are happy to start mediation and feel safe working with the other party. After that mediators try to work with parties together, particularly where there will be a co-parenting relationship going forward, unless the conflict level is too high for this to work effectively.
Do I need to see a solicitor too?
The parties to a mediation may obtain independent legal advice any time during the mediation. Each party has a right to seek legal advice and this must be noted in their Agreement to Mediate. The mediator must ensure that parties are aware of their right to obtain independent advice, including legal advice, prior to any mediation settlement.
A mediator cannot give legal advice, even if they have been legally trained. A couple may decide to engage a solicitor to assist them in completing documentation to make the mediation agreement legally binding, by means of a Separation Agreement or a Consent Order for Divorce or Judicial Separation.
Section 11(2) of the Mediation Act 2017 provides that a mediation settlement shall have effect as a contract between the parties to the settlement, except where it is expressly stated to have no legal force until incorporated into a formal legal agreement signed by the parties.
Who can be involved in the process?
All couples, of any gender, whether married or not, can avail of family mediation. Both parties will play an equal role in the process. Where parents feel it is helpful, children can also participate in the mediation process, usually by speaking with the mediator directly, or with a child specialist present. The mediator will then feed back the input of the child or children to the parents. This does not mean that the children have the power to decide on their future, or will be asked to choose between their parents. This process gives children a voice, and the opportunity to tell their parents about their hopes, wishes, fears and concerns. If you wish your children to participate in mediation, you should ensure your mediator is specially trained in consulting with children.
How long will it take?
The length of the mediation process will depend on how many issues need to be discussed, how complex these are, and on the level of conflict between the parties. Mediation sessions will take place over a period of weeks or months, and address whatever agenda or list of issues the parties draw up together. If the mediator feels that little or no progress is being made over time, they will tell you and recommend alternatives.
What if I get upset?
Relationship breakdown is hard, no matter how or when it happens. All members of the family can be impacted and it is normal to feel a range of emotions including grief, anger, frustration and sometimes relief. Mediators are trained to work with such emotions and understand the complexity of relationship breakdown. They will work at a pace that suits you and will always ensure that you are comfortable. Don’t be afraid to tell your mediator when things are getting on top of you. You can take some time out, have a chat to the mediator on your own, or address a less emotive issue for a while. Your mediator will also be able to refer you, and other members of your family to support services should the need arise.